Tale of the Bloated Goat

from Sat​%​n's Little Grocery Store by Napoleon Watts

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lyrics

I took a look in the mirror just 10 years ago
that's when I decided I cut up my nose
The doctor was friendly when I wrote him a check
So I went under the knife and I never looked back

I chopped off my boobies cuz they made me look fat
but when my husband freaked out I tried putting them back
the plastic however never did feel the same
so he left me for a more natural dame

Well, the anger I felt made my hair all turn gray
so I started to dye it every other Monday
but soon it was fried, it was frizzled and frayed
and a wig was the price that I paid

All the drinking on weekends had wrinkled my eyes
I had flab on my belly and cellulite thighs
I went back to the doctor to get a face lift
and narrow the shape of my hips

Now I don't look quite human, but it don't bother me
I'm a famous actress who's won 13 Emmy's
Remember that series back from the 80s?
I'll bet you wouldn't recognize me

All the teenage women still look up to me
They admire my life and my celebrity
They want fame and money and they want it for free
and of course some plastic surgery

They stare in the mirror and wanna fix what ain't broke
They don't seem to realize that my life is a joke
Looking like an anorexic and bloated goat
and drugging myself just to cope

credits

from Sat​%​n's Little Grocery Store, released September 22, 2014

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Napoleon Watts Pine Bluff, Arkansas

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